12.26.2007

photos

scratch the photos. can't get em to upload. hopefully they'll be on soon!

Lots of updates

Four new posts and hopefully some new photos, so check em out. The one dated 12.18.07 down at the bottom is the oldest one.

XOXOX. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

It’s going okay so far. A little boring. A little disanimada, but I’m hanging in there. The days leading up to and including Christmas Day are hyped up here, but the reality is things are pretty uneventful. I had a slightly testy chat with my host family last night as they were leaving for a party, expecting me to go, but having not mentioned a word about the party’s existence to me previously. From a philosophical perspective, I don’t like being expected to be available at the drop of a hat. From a practical perspective, I like to be told when meetings and activities are scheduled so that I don’t end up with conflicts. In any case, I didn’t go, but I told them I’d come tonight, and so I will. Hopefully it will be a good time.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow though, and as this week which was said to be lots of fun and activity is turning out to be not so much, I’m very glad I decided to join some other volunteers for Christmas Day at the ex-pat hostel in Santiago. Should be some good food, fun people and maybe a cheesy Christmas movie or three.

I’m a little late getting to it, but several people have asked for an updated care package wish list. Before I do that, thanks to all of you who have sent packages. They still haven’t all arrived, but I’m hoping the next trip to Santo Domingo bears fruit again, and as always, I’ll keep you posted. One of the nearby volunteers is having his computer shipped down through the APOs and he’ll be going to pick it up in the next week, so I have asked him to check my mail and packages. Hopefully he’ll find some of the packages that have been in limbo. I haven’t had a chance to get much work done on setting up the international mail forwarding in Santiago, but it is still on my to-do list. In the meantime, the address in Santo Domingo is still the best. Nobody is obligated to send anything. It’s pretty expensive, and entirely without guarantees. Just keep the good emails coming and the rest is just gravy.

That said, here are a few things I’ve thought of. Some of this stuff will break my advice of sending it in a padded envelope. I don’t expect anyone to send any of it (aside from my mom who only sends boxes), but here it is.

- This season’s basic gray, long sleeved, lightweight, zip up hoodie from Gap. (Mom, use my money for this. The one I brought is disintegrating. I should’ve replaced it before I came.) Actually, it doesn’t have to be from Gap, it’s just that they always have one that is pretty perfect so I just go there and save the trouble of hunting.

- Black Reef flip flops (with the skinny straps and thinner soles). I’m not sure whether mine are a 5.5 or a 6, but they are 10 inches long (Again, mom, you can use my money).

- School supplies (pencils, pencil sharpeners, erasers, markers, pens, post-its, thumbtacks, paperclips, sharpies, manila envelopes, folders etc.)

- Storage containers (like the cheap-but-reusable Glad kind)

- Foam earplugs. Please. Foam earplugs. Campo life starts at 4 am.

- Individual-sized no-refrigeration-needed coffee creamers like at a restaurant (probably best not to put these in an envelope, hehe)

- One of those plastic cone things that you put on top of your coffee mug with a filter and pour hot water so it brews the coffee right into your cup (Michele, you have one of these), and the filters to put in it. OR, the French press I ended up leaving behind when I was packing.

- DVDs (used or older titles are perfectly fine)

- Books and magazines as always (I was sent already Prep; Eat, Pray, Love; The Kite Runner; The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, and Naked)

- Snacks, especially protein-y things like nuts and Luna/Mojo bars

- Instant oatmeal and hot cocoa packets

As for general Peace Corps updates, things are going well here. You guys will feel extremely updated if you read all four of the rather lengthy posts I’ll be putting up at the same time. In any case, things have been going well. I’ve gotten started on my diagnostic, which has made me feel a lot more engaged and productive and thus helped my lost and confused feelings go down a bit. I’ve been working on my map, mostly, and I have sketched out four of the six sectors of my community. I plan to finish the sketching before the New Year and then drawing the large scale map after that. I have also designed my survey (I have to interview 100 families in the community) and am waiting to have a chance to review it with my counterpart, which I hope to do before the New Year as well, so that I can start the interviews first thing in January. I think it will take me at least six weeks to get all the interviews done, and then a couple weeks to write my report (in Spanish). I also have to do some general community history research and an organizational diagnostic (history, finances, structure, work areas, purpose, etc of my counterpart organization) for that presentation at the end of February.

My Spanish is coming along too, although certainly I still have a way to go. I find myself not having to translate as much to understand others or formulate my response, but I’m not feeling fluent or normal speaking it yet. I have had a couple of actual, real, honest to goodness conversations with a few people in the community and I was able to hold my own and talk about real topics, which was really reassuring. I still do better in a one-on-one rather than group conversation though, and I still struggle with following conversations between several Dominicans.

As for the housing situation, it looks like I will probably wait for Dan to move out of his house when he finishes his service in April or May and then move in there. That means instead of moving out of my host family’s house at the end of three months, it will be more like at the end of five months (which does not excite me), but the house I’ll be able to move into is worth it. It’s not glamorous, but it’s comfortable, sturdy, safe, quiet and set up. I’ll probably just give Dan the majority of my settling in allowance and he’ll leave me the bed, stove, house supplies etc. Easy for me, easy for him. It’s glorious because the house just has one neighbor house, instead of being on a compound of seven houses (with probably 15 kids) that starts banging and screaming and crowing at 4 am. The only downside is the extra wait before moving out. Hopefully I’ll be able to save enough of the settling-in allowance (or have enough of my money I brought from home left) to look into buying myself a small refrigerator and a lavadora (a campo-style washing machine). This is a little un-Peace Corps sounding, but PC tells us we are expected to live at the level of the people in our communities and nearly everyone here has both a fridge and a lavadora, so I don’t feel too guilty about it.

Gosh, I talk too much. This is going to take you forever to read. Signing off now. I love you!!!!

Fresh Meat

I am new. I am strange, different. Everything I do is observed, commented on. Fresh meat.

I am new. My blood is foreign and delicious. I am the all-day, all-night, all-you-can-eat buffet for this country’s mosquito clientele (although, thankfully, business is slowly calming down). Fresh meat.

I am in a foreign country. The meat we eat doesn’t come in Styrofoam trays covered in plastic wrap. The pork we will eat tonight squeals and screams as it is butchered behind my house. The benches out back double as the butcher’s block to clean and prepare the meat for cooking. Twice now, I have seen and heard the slaughter. How have I not become a vegetarian? Fresh meat.

12.19.07

Given the choice of only one utensil to eat with, I choose a fork, hands down. Dominicans choose spoons. I have no idea why because you then have to eat the meat with your fingers. I mean, who can eat meat on a bone with a spoon? It’s just not quite that tender here, the meat.

I went to a pot luck dinner tonight to celebrate the holidays with one of the youth groups here, and oh man did I want to whip up an artichoke dip to share. Or a pasta salad. Or brownies. The other day we made a big soup on what is essentially a campfire, and oh man I wanted to roast marshmallows and make smores. I could really go for a 20 oz. Americano with 2 sugars, a Splenda and half an inch of half-and-half, please, by the way. And a Chonga bagel with cream cheese.

I have begun thinking about both my housing situation (as in, looking for one on my own) and my diagnostic (as in, starting it).

As for housing, it started out with a slightly awkward conversation with my dona asking if my room-and-board payment to them would be reduced by the days I was in Santiago for the storm. (The answer is no.) Then it led into that, even though it’s not my fault and she doesn’t want to change anything, she thinks the amount I am paying (RD $110/day) is too little. Then we moved on to the subject of them helping me find a place to move into in February. They are rooting hard for me to rent this little house that is owned by a family member, but to do so would require a LOT of repairs, which would probably be paid for by me having to pay almost or more than my whole two years of rent up front to pay for the repairs, and then live there without further rent payments. This is problematic for me because one, I don’t want to have all my money on the street in the event that I would need to move and have to try and get it back, and two, because it would be shit-ton of work that I’d have to wait around for who knows who to get the work done and on a Dominican schedule it could be ages before the house would be ready. It crossed my mind that because the family has a vested interest in me renting this particular house, they might be less motivated to help me search out more suitable options, so I’ve been trying to make other contacts who can help me. Also, the other volunteer here is leaving in May and his landlord said that they would rent to the next volunteer, so I can always decide to stay with my host family and extra two months (ugh) and then move into Dan’s house. The upside is he says the place is quiet, volunteer-friendly, and I might score some of his stuff, so these are all great things! I’ll keep current on developments as they come along.

As for my diagnostic, I have been thinking that I needed to get started on it to give myself something to do, but then today I was thinking that I need to get started on it in order to be able to finish it in time. I’m not going to be able to do any interviews until after the New Year (because the survey isn’t ready yet and because nobody does anything in December), and once I get started it will take probably close to 7 weeks to do all hundred interviews because I’d like to do them all myself. I also have to make a map of the community before I start interviewing, and I also want to do something called a community business inventory to find out all the businesses in the community, where they are located, what they do, who owns them and so on. I have this idea that maybe I could start some sort of community level Chamber of Commerce or something. I don’t even know if our municipality has a city-level CC. I need to do some research.

So my plan is to do my map this week and weekend (at least a rough draft so I can figure out what houses to interview); make a date with my counterpart to get a couple hour-long sessions to talk with her about the community in general and my organization in particular, and to go over my survey before I bring it to the families; then, after the New Year I’ll hopefully start doing the interviews, about 16 per week for 6 weeks (in each of the 6 neighborhoods of my community), hopefully finishing around Valentine’s Day. Based on the vague information that our retreat where we present our diagnostic results is at the end of February or the first week of March, this would give me two weeks to compile my results, write the report and build the presentation.

So, Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat. I’m feeling pretty good about the holidays here, although I certainly know it will be different than at home. I’ll be spending Christmas Eve (Noche Buena) in my community, but Christmas Day I’m headed to Santiago to have a Friends-style Christmas with some other volunteers. There’s this house in Santiago that is run like a hostel for Americans living in the DR. It’s a cross between a hostel and a bed-and-breakfast. I’m going to stay the night there and come back on the 26th. They’re going to do a big dinner and it should be a good time. I’ll be sure to update on how it goes. Plans for New Year’s aren’t as figured out yet, but I’ve decided not to go to Cabarette, which is the unofficial official Peace Corps Volunteer activity. It was confusing to get in on and expensive and I just don’t want to mess with it. One of the volunteers nearby invited me up to Puerto Plata to go for a hike with her and some of her friends, but I’m not sure if that’s exactly on or just around New Years. We’ll see. My host family keeps asking me if I’ll be here for the ball dropping so I get the impression I’m supposed to stick around. All this darn indirect communication is hard for me. However, I’ve heard that Cabarette is a great beach town, so for those of you thinking of coming and visiting resort-style, be sure to check this town out. Here’s a URL for one of the places that sounded pretty cool (although it’s not an all-inclusive setup): http://wilsonsbeachhouse.com/en/index.html. There’s also a general Cabarette tourism website portal that has links to all sorts of places. I don’t remember what it’s called but I’m sure you savvy folks can figure it out.

Well isn’t that just two much too long blog entries for ya?!?!??!! J Take care, happy holidays, and keep in touch!!! Hugs and kisses to all!!!!

12.16.07

So far, today has been an interesting day. I woke up finding it a bit hard to get out of bed – the day that was ahead of me was void of any plans, and given my slightly precarious emotional state lately, I just wasn’t too sure about things. Things are shaping up to be low key, but I am feeling more peaceful than I have in a while, so that’s good. This morning, I gave myself a pedicure and passed close to two hours soaking, cleaning and painting my toes and I am only slightly exaggerating when I say that this activity was observed and commented on (as are all the mundane things I do throughout the day, like wear earrings, wash my underwear or put my hair up with a pen) – by children and adults alike, with no less fanfare than a girl getting ready for her senior prom.

Next, I decided to tidy up my room, which is rather futile because I don’t have nearly enough space for the things I need to be accessible, so as soon as I move to get something the whole place will be a mess again. I’ve decided to build myself a bookcase, although this will probably take several weeks given that I have to procure someone who can build it and the materials as well (which means a trip to the pueblo).

In any case, when I was cleaning I discovered a huge spider had taken up residence and in trying to help, my 8 year old host sister succeeded in chasing the damn thing INTO my closet where it had endless pockets and shoes to hide in. Susa (my host “mom”) eventually found it, as which time I discovered that my shoes in the closet are growing mold. Yay. So, out I went to wash the mold off and set them in the sun to dry and hopefully bake the mold spores dead. This however, I know, is also a useless fight because of the humidity here.

So now, I have clean feet, red toenails and a tidy room (and a more relaxed state of mind) and I’m perched on the front patio like Julia Stiles in Ten Things I Hate About You.

I got a little bit of a talking to from my counterpart and my dona the other day about they are worried that I seem sad here. I gues I am, but it’s not as simple as I’m sad, and because I don’t feel confident I can explain effectively in Spanish (AND because I am not ready to be so vulnerable with the people here yet) I hesitate to begin the conversation. Aside from these emotional reasons, there are some practical problems as well. Dominicans don’t participate in privacy, so having a one-on-one conversation is nearly impossible (sorry, but I don’t want to have a town-hall discussion about how I’m doing) and when you do happen to get someone alone, there are always interruptions. Even in the las week or so I can’t count how many times my dona has asked me what’s up – and I began to explain – only to have her walk out or someone walk in before I had completed my first sentence. It’s not only that there are interruptions but that the conversation never picks back up. It’s like the person doesn’t even remember the conversation was taking place.

All these obstacles add up to that so far, there isn’t anyone here who I have been able to confide in. In training, they talked to us a lot about the importance of integrating into our communities and building confianza (trust) in order to be happy and successful here. It’s pretty obvious now that I think about it, but what they didn’t mention is that the community has to earn the confianza of the volunteer as well, and this is what has caught me off guard.

The other volunteer here, although I understand he has his own life, projects and commitments, has not done much to lend a hand. He’s so busy I haven’t even had a chance to visit his house yet. I think part of it is that we wants me to be able to have my own experience, but if the situation were reversed, I’d make sure to check on the new person more and offer them a place to visit and relax and such.

However, I am happy to report two things. One, I had an almost-real conversation with one of the girls in the community. It, of course, was interrupted, but at least we actually got started and she was paying attention and being responsive. Second, last night I met my first “peer.” That is, my age, college graduate, employed, not married, no kids yet. Now, I have nothing against people getting married or having kids in their 20s, but it’s been a month in my site now and she’s the first who had all those demographic factors in common. Of course, although she works here, she lives in the next community over, but it’s a start.

Although there are plenty of women in their mid-20s and early 30s, their lives are so different that they seem farther away. I’ve mentioned before that my counterpart is 26 with 12 and 4 year old kids, and my dona is 28 with 12 and 8 year old kids. This is pretty common here and they are just not even close to similar places in their lives as I am. So I feel encouraged to have had two glimmers this week.

Also, why aren’t the damn Dominicans asking me to dance? They warned us up and down in training that the men here would be vying over us. Now, I don’t want to be fought over, but Iv’e been to the disco several times now and the only times I’ve danced are with the grandpa men and some guy who got told to dance with me. What’s up with that???

(Side note, in sitting here writing this I have already gotten THREE mosquito bites).

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that during my peaceful pedi earlier, I also took breaks to watch the cow the men killed today get butchered behind out house. Someone died and there’s a vela (memorial service) tomorrow in Santiago, and this will be lunch. It was interesting to be painting my nails when not 20 feet away there was an ad hoc butcher shop. (Look for pictures!)

12.12.2007

Olga

Greetings from Santiago!

Here we are, consolidated in Santiago, waiting out Tropical Storm Olga, or whatever kind of storm it is. After the surprise hit of Noel last month, Peace Corps wasn't taking any chances with the volunteers this time. It's been raining nonstop since Friday last week, and still is. From the sounds of it my site has a few down trees and part of our bridge broke off. When I left yesterday there were rivers running around the community that aren't supposed to be there, and finding a motorcycle to take me out to the road was pretty interesting. It took me about an hour to find one. But here we are, and safe and sound. I talked to my Dona this morning and it sounds like there's a lot of water and some fallen trees and such, but she didn't mention any structural damage. I guess I'll have to wait and see when I get back how everything is. Hopefully nothing is too bad.

Anyways, not too much to report other than that. It sounds like weather is pretty crazy across the US too. Hope you all are warm and dry. Take care!

12.08.2007

In the Capital

It's strange, how in the span of minutes my perspective changes, my thoughts on how things are going and what I am doing. Sometimes I stay feeling great or feeling overwhelmed for only moments and sometimes it lasts for longer. The last couple days have been interesting because they have been interesting, fun, varied, busy (although all this has been accomplished by being mostly out of my site) but yet I have been feeling anxious and emotional. I'm not sure what the cause is, but I will keep moving forward, eagerly working toward feeling settled, comfortable and at home.

Insecurities here are many. Am I qualified for this? Can I be an effective volunteer? Can I overcome my shyness and get myself integrated into my community, and find myself a few friends? Is my Spanish ever going to feel comfortable and normal, if not perfect? I mean, I can handle making mistakes but when do I get to just talk and listen and not miss a large chunk of what's going on?

On the other hand, things are great, too. A couple of days ago I went to 27 Charcos with some volunteers nearby to celebrate one of the guys' birthday in my group, and it was amazing. 27 Charcos was one of the things on the short list of activities I was sure I wanted to do before coming here. Basically, it involves climbing up and then jumping/sliding down a sequence of 27 waterfalls, the highest jump being at the top and about 35 feet (I passed on that one). In any case, it's incredibly beautiful and totally naturally occurring. Then yesterday I got on a really, really early bus (complete with a crowing rooster and a cockroach, and a leaky roof so I got rained on) to come to the capital. Before I even got on the bus I was drenched from the 20 minute-in-the-pouring-down-rain motorcycle ride to catch the bus, so that was kindof rough and cold. However, upon my arrival in the capital for the holiday artisan fair, I came to the PC office and was delighted to find I had a few lovely care packages (which my kindly neighbor volunteer Rob has taken back to my site for me because I couldn't manage all my stuff!), and then I went and spent the day at the fair. The fair is great, and I'm headed back there today, but it's been a little disappointing so far because the candles I brought from the jovenes I'm working with aren't selling very well, and I couldn't bring a very large selection to begin with because they weigh a ton. Also, the quality of the products there are pretty kick ass, and while my group has improved a lot (from what I hear) since they began, they still have a ways to go.

As for in my community, not too much is going on there. I am trying to focus on learning my way around the community and meeting people, but of course this is always a challenge for me. I have been going to a few meetings but I haven't yet made it to all of them, and my project partner and I haven't had very much time to spend on orienting me to their organization and their work. My vision of what I will be doing with them, or what they are hoping for, is still pretty unclear. They are actually pretty organized and developed and functional in Dominican terms, and my counterpart is my same age and level of education, so I don't feel especially confident that I have so much knowledge she doesn't. It will be really good once I can get going on the organizational diagnostic component of my community diagnostic (the only "real" work we are supposed to do the first three months) with my proj partner because it will give me some structure to work in to research the group I work with. It will also give me something to do.

Aside from the blurry vision of my work as a volunteer in my community, I am also still feeling blurry about my role as a person. Finding friends, knowing who's who. Being able to live independently and set my own schedule, activities, meals, projects and commitments. From what I understand, all the difficulties that I am experiencing right now related to host family, autonomy, friends and work are all normal, and I find this reassuring most of the time (although sometimes it doesn't help that much).


Let's see what else? I've been loving the emails and thanks for the phone calls too, from everyone who has been able to be in touch! Hearing from you all has made life grand. Being in a place where nobody knows me, or understands me, or is used to me (at the very least... in the absence of the first two) has made me understand how nice home is. Nobody is perfect; no family, no group of friends, but boy is it nice to not have to explain everything, for example, chilling out solo. Dominican culture just doesn't include a notion of personal time, of solitude. It's very strange to them that we like it, need it, want it. I don't think I'm homesick (that will come when/if... no, when I get sick), but I'm just realizing again that while I can complain until I am blue in th face (because I am, by nature, a complainer), I like you guys!!!

Okay, this is good for now. Check you later!!!! I miss you!!!
Kira

12.04.2007

Week One

Having been a little nervous the last time I wrote, just before getting on the bus to come up here, to my site, for real this time, I am happy to report that I am doing well here. I have even had some pretty good adventures and fun days this past week. As with most things so far, there are upsides and downsides already. I’ll start with the upsides:

Friday, I did some exploring, which was great. First, I went to Alta Mira which is the pueblito in whose municipality my site is located. That’s where the local level government offices and such related to my community are located. I also learned where the supermarket is. After that, I went and found my friend and fellow volunteer, Kevin’s, site. It’s a 10 minute walk from where I catch the moto to come into my site, so pretty darn easy. Then we went to Puerta Plata, which was sortof unexciting but I’m glad we went. I think we missed the cool part, if there is one. Although other volunteers tell us that Puerta Plata is kind of a has-been tourist town. The downside of this is that I had money in my bra, just in case, and now I have an itchy, slightly yucky looking, money-shaped rash on my boob. I really hope it is heat rash because we walked a lot and I was sweaty and not some infection from the dirty, dirty money. Ew.

Yesterday, I went on a real expedition, escorted by my good sport but not particularly thrilled about it host brother, to find my other friend and co-volunteer Rob’s site. Rob is much, much more out there in the campo campo than I or Kevin are. There’s no running water or electricity there (he’s a water volunteer). Getting up there was a serious hike, about an hour long, in quicksand like mud, which I had to do mostly in flip flops because we had to walk through the river FOUR times, and the trail was a horse trail, not a foot trail, and not a car trail. We eventually arrived and then went exploring more with Rob, more mud, more impossibly slippery trails. I totally fell and got entirely very muddy. It was hilarious. At one point we actually weren’t even on a trail, or any semblance of a trail, we just hiked right up the hill through the leaves and fallen branches and mud. It was so hard I gave up and took off my flips altogether so I didn’t end up sliding all the way down the hill, which was a very real risk. I am trying not to think of the cooties I was walking in with my bare feet.

Last night I went to the discoteca, which was ok, but I was really, really tired and the music was painfully too loud. I came home early and went to bed. Today I’m supposed to go exploring more with a girl in my community, but it’s the DR so we’ll see if it actually happens.

Also, I discovered that the 10 peso ice cream bar truck comes through most days at like 215 pm, and so most of the week I have been buying myself an after lunch snack. Yum. Tuesday I’m going into Imbert to use the internet and the bank, check out the pueblo and hopefully meet up with Todd, another volunteer in the area. He’s the one working at 27 Charcos (Google it.)

And for the downsides. I like my host family, I really do. They are nice. They give me relatively good food. They are nice to each other and to me. They generally give me my space (although I struggle with feeling guilty for taking it). They are very respectful. The thing is, I think I just don’t like living with a host family. I am just not a fan of the host family experience. I feel too exposed to people I hardly know, and who hardly know me. It’s hard to find stuff to talk to them about, although I think all sides are trying. I feel more guarded with my host family than maybe with other people, probably because of the feeling exposed thing.

In general, it’s hard for me to come up with topics to chat about here still. Between still struggling with Spanish on a daily basis (although, admittedly, not as much as some others in our group) and generally not knowing what’s going on to chit chat about, I find myself being quiet. Not sad so much as lacking much to say, although sometimes I feel sad too.

I know it will just take time. Time to find my stride, time to find stuff to talk about. Time to get comfortable if I don’t have anything to say. Time to find places and people who are for me to rest and rejuvenate. Time in general. I am confident still that as time passes and I get more of a sense of what my work here is (or even what other people’s work here is) I will feel more at ease. I knew this would be hard for me, the sitting around, nothing to do in particular, nowhere to go in particular. Nobody telling me what to do or where to go, but not really being free to do whatever I want or go wherever I want.

So here’s something interesting. The Ducks lost the Civil War football game. That they lost is not what is interesting about it (although it’s a bummer). What is interesting about this fact is that I know it. What is more interesting about this fact is that I know it because I saw it! I am in the Peace Corps in the Dominican Republic and I saw (part) of my alma matter’s Civil War football game on ESPN last night. Now, I’m a little confused because usually the game would have been last weekend, or even two weeks ago (it’s usually on one end or another of my birthday) but alas. I didn’t get to see much, just a few minutes of the third quarter, but I saw the recap, again by freak chance, today so I saw how it all turned out. Loss. Double overtime. Bummer. Hope you guys had a beer for me.


Anyway, as with everything. Salty and sweet come together. I better go for now, I am getting called out on hiding in here and need to go compartir, but I’ll try to come and write again soon!!! New pictures are online!!!

Love you all!
Kira