Me mordio un perro!

In the Peace Corps, strange things happen. Or well, it might be more accurate to say that nothing that happens here is considered strange.

Friday, some stupid yappy dog ran out of his front gate and bit me on the back of the leg. Totally unprovoked. I was so mad. Anyways, so in training they gave us the three-part rabies vaccine, and if you ever get bit you have to have two more doses. So Friday afternoon I had to trek down to the PC office to deal with the vaccine stuff. It should have been relatively simple, except for the fact that both our doctors were in Guatemala for the regional PC med conference.

So, go to office to pick up vaccine and a note. Medical Secretary is "pretty sure" it's just one shot. I'm pretty sure I remember it being more. So anyways, I pretty much have to force her to call the doctor in Guatemala and double check, because it was going to make a difference if I needed to stay in the capital an extra day. Turns out it is two shots and I did need to stay. Lame.

Go I to the emergency room to ask them to shoot it into me. Arrive in ER and explain. Am asked: name, age, phone number, province where I live. Am not asked for ID. Am not asked to sign anything. Am not asked to see the dog bite. Sent to sit on the exam table. Given injection. Nurse took the bloody gauze in her bare hands to throw it away, and then rinsed her hands (no soap) and went back to work. Was done with process. Did not need to see doctor or sign anything for leaving. Neither the nurse nor any other medical staff in the ER had ever heard of the vaccine they were shooting into me.

Can you imagine showing up in an ER in the US with a rabies vaccine and them just saying "oh sure, over here, STAB, ok you can leave now."?

Aye, aye, aye.

I've been out of my site for so long, I need to go back today but I'm just not feeling motivated to do it. Oh, and it appears that someone accidentally, or on purpose, took a big bag of new stuff for my house out of the PC office so now I'm $1300 pesos poorer and I don't have the pillow, towel, kitchen stuff, etc. to show for it. Grr.

Dandome cuenta

Being in the capital for language training this week has been really interesting. The language classes have been fine, although not revolutionary, and being at my original host family’s house has actually been pretty great. I’ve been realizing that I might not ever become accustomed to living in the fishbowl; I prefer the anonymity of city life. In the city, we have that. I remember thinking it strange when I arrived that the houses are actually walled in on three sides and gated facing the street, so they are actually more isolated here than most parts of Portland, anyways.

In some of the conversations we’ve had this week I realized I have had some things to get off my chest. For now, what it boils down to is that the opportunism here, which probably exists in all developing countries, has me feeling constantly guarded. I feel disinclined to share, of my self or of my things. It bothers me that my levels of generosity and openness are shockingly low here. The only explanation I can find is a fear (is it well-founded?) that if I give an inch, many here will expect a mile. I’m not proud that my fear of being taken advantage of is preventing me from forming close relationships and opening myself up to those in my community. The custom of demanding and taking instead of asking and thanking me prende mi sangre (makes my blood boil). Even when it’s not directed at me. Give me a candy. Bring me water. Buy my product. Get me tal cosa. Take my picture (this one is exclusively directed at me). This is tricky because lots of people share with me, and I am always gracious (even though I am teased for it). I want to reciprocate, but I hesitate. There are plenty of people who practice good manners, both in the cities and in my campo. They show me that it not culturally unreasonable to expect it. Living in another culture has and continues to illuminate my own in surprising clarity.

We watched a Dominican movie, Sanky Panky, yesterday afternoon. It’s a satire about Dominican and American stereotypes that glorifies and perpetuates, most egregiously, the practice of being a Sanky Panky: one whose activities and efforts are directed to finding an American who will llevar you to the US. I think of it as visa hunting. I don’t think it’s funny and I certainly don’t think it’s something to be proud of. I don’t have any statistics about what is talk and what portion is real desire (as wonderful as the US is, I can’t imagine that all those who talk about it would actually go, given the opportunity), but there is a lot of talk about it. As far as relationships go here, this idea of being pursued as a means of getting llevared totally and completely turns me off to the idea of getting involved in the first place.

Not all Dominicans expect to receive. Plenty of Dominicans are gracious. Not all Dominicans are looking for their ticket to the American Dream. But some do. Many aren’t. And some are. And so, I am finding that my walls have gone up. Now, how do I bring them down?

Capital, Day Eight

I have been out of my site for 12 of the last 18 days, pretty impressive, right? WHY, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. First, I went to Bahia de las Aguilas in Pedernales to camp on an uninhabited beach in a national turtle sanctuary on the south coast at the Hatian border. It was beautiful, wonderful, amazing. The mosquitoes were murderous, but the company made up for it. We ate lots of mangos, got TWO flat tires, swam in the most amazing turquoise water I've ever seen and, in total, spent about 24 hours in buses and guaguas to make the trip. It was worth the trouble.

Then, after a quick respite at my house (which I am still getting settled into) it was back to the capital for a back-breaking, eyeball busting week of producing the Gringo Grita--the official magazine of PCDR, an amusing mix between The Onion and The New Yorker (closer to The Onion, though, let's be real). After 7 straight 12-hour days, using day 8 to get caught up on the email I've been neglecting for weeks, I'm about to head back to my site. It was a great experience though, and fun to be back in the saddle of publication design (although working in PageMaker 7.0 felt like I might as well have been using a typewriter). It was hectic but it was really great to see my fellow Volunteers--who have little experience but lots of energy and enthusiasm to learn--taking on the challenges and having lots of success.

It's Wednesday right now, and Sunday afternoon I'm coming back again for another week, this time 5 days of language training. That will be out in the suburbs of Santo Domingo instead of in the area by the office. Yay, Pantoja. About as exciting as a dental appointment.

In the last couple of months, a ton has been going on, but I can't say I've felt especially productive work-wise. My niece, Dakoda, was born at the beginning of May and that had me all funny for a few days. Dan, the other volunteer here, wrapped up and left so there were lots of logistics and coordination so I can follow up on his many projects throughout my service. Then June has and will continue to be lots of time out of site.

Remember Camp GLOW, the girls' empowerment camp I've been talking about and for which we asked for donations? Well, thanks to the generosity of our family and friends, we have the funding we need to put on the camp, which will be for 5 days in mid-July. I'm really looking forward to this. I'll be giving a charla with another volunteer on income generation projects the girls can do in their communities to make money with high-demand products that are easy and inexpensive to produce. It will be great!

I want you guys to read my friend Claudette's blog, the link is over on the right. She does a wonderful job of taking on and really explaining some of the nuanced aspects of the experience and what we deal with here. I am so close to myself right now that I see a lot of details and experiences without having a sense of the big picture, the perspective on how seemingly disparate things are inextricably related. She does a great job of this. I'm not sure if it's because she's so zanily perceptive or articulate or what, but she posts the blog entries I attempt. Mine turn out to be an update of activities, events, the occasional observation, but generally not the thoughtful, intense interpretations I yearn for. That's ok. Documenting what I'm doing and how I'm feeling is important too.

In any case, things are going well for me. My project is going great (as long as you put on your PC context goggles before looking at it) and if I'm not feeling more sure about who I am, what I'm doing or what my role or potential impact in my community might eventually be, then at least I'm not feeling so overwhelmed by this lack of important information. It has been stressful being compared to Dan, especially up in the neighborhood where I live now, and I haven't had much time to andar in the community to visit neighbors, meet everyone. On the other hand, our communities take such pride in having a Volunteer that in some ways it seems like it almost doesn't matter whether you do a little or a lot, they adore you. I haven't actually felt this myself yet, because everyone still talks to me about all the great things Dan did, and I wonder how I will ever measure up. But then, what I need to do is get over it and do my thing, work on my project, and trust that my contribution, whatever it turns out to be, will be of meaningful value for the individuals and the community as a whole in the end.

Although, I am THRILLED to offer an update on the long, difficult struggle I had since the beginning with making friends, fitting in and feeling sure about myself with the other Volunteers, especially in large numbers. It occurred to me that it is probably never reasonable to expect oneself to make friends, all at once, with 50 (and really, 150+) new people. So I stopped trying, relaxed, allowed myself to find the ones with whom I feel comfortable, accepted, valued. I'm not even a person who prefers a huge circle of friends, and now I am really making progress and picking up steam in forming meaningful friendships with a couple of my fellow Volunteers. I'm newly unaffected by the peer pressures of going out, partying, drinking and so on. If picking up some food at the supermarket, going back to the Pen, grabbing a book and the iPod and chilling out is what floats my boat, guess what, I'm doing it. And being in the capital has become exponentially less (although still significantly) stressful. I feel really proud of myself for this. It was a struggle, but I found my way and I feel like the rest of my service can be a pleasant experience of getting to know the people I'm working with instead of worrying what they think of me. GO ME!

I hereby resolve to write more thoughtful blog entries, at least occasionally, henceforth.
Until next time!

Photos

Finally, I had a few minutes to organize and upload some photos of the past couple of months or so. Please feel free to check them out!

My New House

It occurred to me that the desensitizing process we go through as PCVs, although rather handy as a survival mechanism, really has its downside. Two specific instances come to mind.

Sometimes I get a glimpse and realize that whole days have gone by without me noticing what a beautiful country I’m in. What can I say—garbage in the road and river, sewage smells in my nose, horse and cow poop in my shoes, mosquitoes biting, days at a stretch without water… mud… oh the mud. I guess it’s easy to get caught up in the details.

You get, if not “used to,” jaded about how long it takes to get anything done here. One of the manifestations of this for me is that I feel like I’m not accomplishing much, even though I feel busy almost all the time. It must be said quite honestly that the definition of “getting things done” is quite different here than stateside. But I realized today when I bumped into a couple other volunteers in Santiago and told them what I’ve been up to that it really isn’t as if I’m sitting around “watching the mangoes ripen,” as they say. It felt good.

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In other news, I am happy to report that I have, after much anticipation, moved into my own house. There were a few stressful days to do with safety concerns my counterpart had and getting the electricity rigged up, but thankfully all have been worked out now. So, about the house (see more photos at the regular link).

The house is set on a high edge of the community and has excellent views from both front and back. There is a gate at the entrance, two mango trees (one of which has a hammock), several plantain trees, avocado, tamarind, mandarin and guava trees, and a garden than Dan started and I am going to try not to kill. The garden has cucumber, tomato, carrots, okra, spinach, lettuce, squash, melon, cilantro, dill, basil, beets, onions and more. Assuming I discover the green thumb in me, I should be able to eat a decent amount of vegetables, gracias a Dios.

The house is painted a cheery yellow and white. It is made of cement blocks and wood plans, with a zinc roof. The main house is divided into two rooms—a bedroom area and a living room/kitchen area. Attached to the back is a zinc-walled add-on with a jaguar (thatch) roof that I use for washing dishes and storage. Outside of the bedroom is a connected-but-outdoor shower, which, when there is water, provides a pretty decent experience. (I generally do have water, but this is the dry season and the aqueduct is low so they turn it off to ration consumption.) Out the other side of the house is the latrine. This isn’t so bad because it’s in pretty good shape, with a few caveats:

1: When you pee, some of it sneaks under the wall onto the floor. I’m looking into buying a can of caulk.

2: One of the floor boards is a little loose. I’m working on having it replaced so I don’t fall in the hole. That would be, well, unpleasant.

3: The bench is too high so I have to hop on and off to go. Aside from being annoying, this is worrisome because of #2 above. I am working on getting a step so I can reach more comfortably.

4: I pee in a bucket at night so I don’t have to go outside.

I cook on a tabletop gas stove, and keep all my food and dishes covered and sealed because of the ants, rats and cockroaches that are simply a fact of life here. (Remember earlier I mentioned becoming desensitized…) A neighbor brought me a mango the other day that I was really excited to eat for breakfast, but the rats beat me to it and I had to throw it out.

I did some grocery shopping yesterday in Puerto Plata, trying to get myself set up here. A few things I can’t do yet until I get the refrigerator purchased, but I’m making progress.

Anyhow, my new house is definitely a campo house in my campo community, but I’m certain we are going to get along just fine. I can’t wait for you to see it in real life! Did I mention how beautiful it is up here? Definitely worth the slightly hike-ish walk.

Dakoda Lyn

Please join me in welcoming my new, beautiful niece, Dakoda Lyn, to the world. She was born on Wednesday, May 7 and we are all thrilled to have her. Cal loves her like crazy, as you can see here. I knew this would be bittersweet, and it sure is. I wish I was there. Missing her birth has been pretty tough this week, and I'm finally knee-deep in my first real battle with homesickness. But hey, I made it 8 months, that's pretty good. Anyway, here she is. Perfect. Wonderful. I love her already. Congratulations to Heather, TJ and Cal. I love you!

The Latest

It’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog, sorry for those of you who read regularly. Hopefully I can bring things up to speed without writing a novel!

But before I update on my life in Peace Corps, I want to update on my life at HOME!!!! My sister gave birth to my new niece on Wednesday, May 7^th. Her name is Dakoda Lyn and she was 7 pounds and some ounces and 21 inches long. My mom says she looks like me!!!!! I haven’t seen pictures yet, but they tell me she’s beautiful, healthy, and wonderful. The birth went well and mother and baby are back at home. Cal is in love with his new baby sister, as I am sure TJ and Heather are as well. Congratulations to you guys, I love you!!! It was very sad for me to not be able to be there for the birth and to meet Dakoda, and this was one of my more homesick feeling weeks to date, but you guys were on my mind every minute and I can’t wait to meet Dakoda and see Cal and give you all real hugs!

OK, an update on my work activities.

When the other volunteer in my community leaves I’ll be taking over management of some grants he’s got in progress, so I’ll essentially be the accountant. One is a grant for his Escojo (health promoters) youth group, another is for Escojo expenses for the regional coordinator, who happens to be from my community, and then a few small scholarships for several kids in the community.

I’m also still working on the child declaration project. First thing next week I’ll pick up the paperwork from the office in my pueblo to take up to the provincial capital, and then it will take them a couple of weeks to process the forms. Then I can pick up that paperwork and bring it back to the pueblo and get the birth certificates made up.

We are at the half-way point in my 16-class English course, and things are going pretty well. I feel like they aren’t learning that much, but I’m trying to be realistic. We’re going to finish before all my trips and out-of-site work start in June, and then I’ll figure out what to do once July rolls around. I don’t want to stop if they are still interested in continuing, but we might take a different direction, and maybe just once a week so my evenings aren’t so full.

The cacao processing facility had its inauguration ceremonies a couple of weeks ago, which was great, but now we’ve all realized that business planning was not part of the requirements of their grant, and so they really don’t have any business planning done. They don’t know what their costs or prices are; how or what they are going to pay their workers; they don’t have a marketing or sales plan or packaging or a system in place of taking, communicating and fulfilling orders. Essentially, all the planning that a business plan addresses is absent, so the factory, before ever actually beginning, is already at a standstill. This has been pretty stressful recently, but I’m trying to help them see the topics they need to address and get some decisions made.

Another project within my organization is a bakery which operates like a business just like the chocolate factory, although they are more established and up and running. Their whole system of invoicing and billing is done by hand, for 48 schools every two weeks, and is incredibly tedious and time consuming. So I’ve been trying to help them computerize some of the forms so they can automate and copy-paste a lot of the stuff. This is a little dangerous because they only have one computer and there isn’t always electricity; and because computerizing things means they are going to want me to do it instead of struggle to learn themselves, but hopefully it will be worth it in the long run, both because it will make it necessary to learn to use a computer and because it will save a ton of time. I guess that means I also need to do computer training in my office.

Also coming up is Camp GLOW, the summer camp I am soliciting donations for, for a week in July. And June is the magazine and language training. I sound really super busy, and I feel busy, but in comparison to life in the states, I am so not busy. I mean, essentially 12 hours a day is devoted to sleeping or being in bed, so my window for productivity is quite a bit smaller. Also, lunch is 2 hours long, and I spend at least 30 minutes every morning drinking coffee. J

Alright, moving on… Until this week I have encountered very few instances of inappropriate behavior directed toward me that caused me to feel genuinely upset, offended or violated. This week, however, one of the men who works in my organization and is often on the verge of being inappropriate (innuendo-laden comments, telling me once I’d look nice sunbathing naked, general commentary on my clothes and body) crossed the line. He started caressing my back and tugging on my bra like he was going to unsnap it and asked me why I use it… Dominican women don’t… wink wink. I was really upset and offended and spoke with one of the women in the office about it and I’ll also be talking to my counterpart. I’m lucky because my encounters with harassment and discrimination in my life have been minor and infrequent, but this was a reality check. This is a good time to mention that cultural norms are different here, and the degree of physical contact and commentary of a physical or sexual nature that is generally acceptable here in the DR would be considered extremely inappropriate in the US. Keeping this in mind, I generally remind people who speak to me in ways I don’t like that I am American, not Dominican, and for me this or that is offensive, while not letting myself get too upset by it. However, I know the difference between feeling annoyed and feeling threatened, and when I feel threatened I have no problem speaking up and putting the other person at risk of looking bad (which is very serious here) in front of their community. And anyways, the couple of women I’ve told about this in the community agreed with me that this was out of line even by Dominican standards. And they gave me some good lines for telling off the skeezy dudes who go too far.

My moving date is getting so close I can taste it and I am so, so looking forward to it. I met with Dan and the co-owners of the house yesterday to do the rental contract, but we hit a snag which, although it should work out fine, has me in a bit of a tizzy. It’s the LUZ! Electricity in this country is such a pain in the ass. Basically, right now Dan has the house connected to his neighbor, and he chips in for her bill. But she doesn’t want this to continue because of lots of reasons that make perfect sense. So we either have to find a different neighbor who will let me connect, or run wire all the way down to the nearest transformer and connect “legitimately” and set up a contract with the electrical company. Either way I am going to have to invest money up front to buy the electrical wire to make the connection, and then reduce my rent payment to recuperate the investment. The problem with the first scenario is that the houses up there are pretty far apart; also, if we do it this way I might not be able to have a refrigerator because of the amount of current they draw. The problem with the second scenario is that the transformer where you make a “real” connection is really far away and the wire to do it would be a huge expense up front (although we agreed on a limit for the investment I’m willing to make—and they’ll have to cover what remains); also, connecting directly would require a contract, and I am not allowed to have contracts and the two guys who own the house already have reached the limit of contracts they can have in their name. Also, with the second option, it’s possible that the whole thing could drag out if the owners have to come up with any significant quantity of money to connect the house, which could mean that I either have to wait longer to move in or live there without electricity until it gets resolved. Aside from the fact that I find this generally annoying and worrisome, it is compounded because I’m going to be out of site (and thus not around to nag people about getting stuff done) almost all of June! I really want to get moved it, set up and settled BEFORE I’m gone for the better part of a month. Dan and I are both pretty adamant that the whole thing needs to be resolved and taken care of in its entirety before he leaves the community on like, May 22, so hopefully we’ll be able to make that happen.

So, I guess that’s it for now. I think I touched on all the more exciting things that are going on. I promise to take pictures of the house just as soon as I get moved in, and I’ll get them online as soon as I can. Thanks to everyone for keeping in touch! Keep the great e-mails coming!!!! Tuesday, May 18 is my 8-month anniversary in-country!!!! Go me!

Love,

Kira