April 9, 2008

I can’t believe it—I’m days away from the “quarter-mile mark” of my Peace Corps experience. April 13 will be my 7-month anniversary in the Dominican Republic. I can’t believe so much time has already gone by, or that three-quarters of my time remains. It’s not as though I am counting the days until I go; I am pretty content and generally pleased with my experience so far (I qualify “pleased” and “content” because of the daily, weekly, monthly ups and downs—every day completed is another battle won) and I can feel myself learning, growing and changing. Sometimes it’s empowering, sometimes it’s painful, always it’s powerful.

I am still searching for where I fit within my counterpart organization and trying to resolve my desire to help them on an organizational level with my instinct that the bureaucracy between our “branch” office and the main office in Santo Domingo will prevent me from doing so. Also, although they are certainly “Dominican” about it, these guys are educated (as in at a university, generally, across the organization) and competent. In many ways, positive ways, I am not sure they even need a volunteer. Although with more applied skills and with the youth group, I feel more useful. I have not decided yet whether I want to be focused more in the organization or in the community using the organization as a home base and source of support, but clearly I’m leaning toward the latter. It’s Peace Corps’ “work in your project sector” mantra that keeps me from choosing confidently (or, more accurately, confidently embracing my choice) because of my deeply engrained compulsion to follow rules and do what I am “supposed to do.”

But, I’m doing pretty well, and a few projects are getting up and going (although, again, not within my actual project, but like a friend said, we are “cross-sectoral queens” and getting a little momentum is good for confidence). My English class has started and I have 10 students; things are going pretty well so far. Progress is being made with the child declaration project. The youth group at my organization successfully produced Mistoline—a very profitable income generation project—and is selling it in the community. The youth candle business has hosted a couple of candle-making workshops with some girls to generate interest and hopefully help in the business, and we are working on developing a partnership with another community group to help us sell the products. Planning for the girls’ summer camp is moving along; I am working on a handout for community-based fundraising ideas that volunteers will use to come up with the community contribution required to attend the camp. I’ve got a couple of trips coming up, and hopefully the Gringa Grita, plus my week-long language workshop so there’s quite a bit going on inside and outside of site.

But like I said, other than a couple of very basic brochures, my involvement and contribution in the projects managed by my organization have been limited to attending the activities and meetings. They keep mentioning ideas for more consultative projects but not finding (or making) the time to develop the idea with me and plan goals and expectations. I am to blame for this also because I have not been applying strong enough or consistent enough pressure to force something to come out of the wash, but I’ve got to be honest—that struggle isn’t especially appealing to me!

Personally I’m doing well, but some days are definitely happier, more content, easier, and so on than others. Moving into my own house is still at the top of my list and front of my thoughts. Once I get that taken care of, I’ll probably have more thoughtful things to say about my state of mind and well-being than I’m antsy to get moved out. Stay tuned!